Teaching discipline through massage
Massage gives you a consistent opportunity to create the kind of
relationship your child needs in order to be receptive to gentle
discipline. Here are some things that a child needs in order to
respond favorably to loving guidance:
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Your child needs to trust you.
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He needs to recognize clear and consistent boundaries
between you.
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He needs to learn how to communicate with you (both ver-
bally and nonverbally).
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He needs to know that you are sensitive to his needs.
The word discipline literally means “to teach.” Massaging your
older baby or toddler actually helps you teach her about disci-
pline, because massage helps children find out about boundaries,
trust, and nonverbal communication. In fact, even a newborn or
infant picks up lessons about discipline through massage.
Parents who massage and touch their children regularly become
sensitive caretakers attuned to their children’s needs. This type of
parenting builds a relationship based on trust. Because you have
responded to your children’s needs with compassion and sensitiv-
ity, your babies grow up to respect (instead of fear) and count on
your positive authority.When will my baby sleep
through the night?
This may be the question parents most frequently ask of doctors and other parents.
The truth is that when babies are young, “sleeping through the night” really means
sleeping for about a five-hour stretch. Babies simply aren’t wired to sleep for much
longer at one time. They have shorter sleep cycles than adults and wake repeat-
edly through the night. Sleep problems often arise for the parents because some
babies have difficulty falling back to sleep.
You can try a variety of methods and follow many different philosophies to help your
baby fall back asleep. We are advocates of the gentle approach to parenting your
baby back to sleep. Your coauthor Joanne has used massage to successfully help
her daughter Ava get back to sleep. On the few occasions that Ava woke up in the
middle of the night wanting to play, giving her a massage proved tremendously help-
ful in coaxing her to go back to sleep.
You can find more gentle approaches to helping your baby sleep in The Baby Book
by William and Martha Sears and The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help
Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley (Contemporary Books).In your baby’s early weeks, it’s best to keep the stimulation level to
a minimum. If your baby is very sensitive to stimulation, just hold-
ing her may be enough in the beginning weeks, or you may use a
limited massage routine with your baby’s clothes on.
If you do use massage during your baby’s first few weeks of life,
here are some tips to keep in mind:
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If your young baby enjoys baths, try giving the massage
before she takes a bath.
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If your young baby finds baths stressful, keep your massage
and bathing experiences separate. For very sensitive babies,
you may even want to bathe and massage on different days.
(Later in this chapter, we offer tips on taking the stress out of
the bathing experience.)
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You want to avoid giving a massage before naptime or bed-
time because your baby may have trouble falling asleep.
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If you have a busy day of errands or visitors, you may want to
skip the massage altogether because your own stress level
may be too high.
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It’s best to give the massage when the house is quiet and you
are relaxed.
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You’re better off skipping the massage altogether if finding the
“right time” today is becoming stressful