Bonding with your preemie
Even though your baby may be separated from you, it is still possible (and impor-
tant!) to create a warm and loving environment for your preemie that facilitates
bonding. Here are some suggestions:
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If your baby is in an incubator, take some receiving blankets and sleep with them
for a night. The next day, roll them up and place them around your preemie so
she begins to associate your smell with feeling safe and held.
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Talk to your baby often! Your preemie has heard your voice for months and will
feel reassured by hearing it now. You can softly sing lullabies, too.
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Pump and store your breast milk. (For guidelines on storing breast milk, see
www.lalecheleague.org.) If you are separated from your baby, pumping
will keep your breast milk supply flowing.
Because your baby was born early, your breast milk will be different than if your
pregnancy went full term — it will contain different nutrients and be a different con-
sistency. However, your milk will still help your baby’s developing immune system.Keep your movements slow and gentle.
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Don’t use any oils yet. You may use warm water to reduce the
friction of your hands on your baby.
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Keep your baby very warm. You may want to massage your
baby with his clothes on (see the upcoming section
“Providing contact through clothing”).
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Start the massage on your baby’s legs, or on her fingers and
toes. These areas of the body are less stimulating and are non-
invasive. You may even begin just by holding these areas of
the body.
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Avoid upward strokes (those that move toward the head).
They may be too stimulating to your preemie. Keep your
strokes moving in a downward (toward the feet) direction.
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Your baby will probably be very stimulated by a back mas-
sage, so avoid this area until your preemie is able to tolerate
the stimulation of a massage on the front of the body.
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Try to avoid too light of a touch. Tickling your baby is very
stimulating!
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As your baby becomes stronger, you can begin to massage her
buttocks while you are holding her. Just lightly rubbing your
full palm over her whole butt will suffice.
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Most of your touch with your baby will be given while he is
lying on your chest in a reclining position. Your baby will most
likely be too small to lie by himself on a bed or on the floor.
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Keep the lights and your voice low. Avoid using music until
your preemie is less easily stimulated.
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Maintain eye contact and reassure your baby with positive
affirmations like, “Mommy (or Daddy) is here, and everything
is okay.”